milk

I've been doing some reading on the topic of balancing a career (and personal identity) and motherhood.  It's something that causes me a bit of anxiety, because I don't want to imagine failing at one or the other.  Literature on this debacle tends to fall toward one end of a spectrum or the other, that being that either (a) the mother feels an almost undeniable urge to stay with her baby and forgo selfish career development or (b) the mother cannot imagine becoming a homemaker and is more than ready to jump back into the workforce when her maternity leave ends.  In the first scenario, a mother's identity is tied to her role as mother, first and foremost, and in the second she believes she must maintain her identity outside of motherhood - in order to ultimately be a good mother.

Part of the problem lies in the fact that I don't really know which pole of that spectrum I'll most identify with when the time comes.  I suppose the fact that I'm worried about how this blog entry will be received (I don't want anyone to think my life is already being consumed by my unborn baby and I've lost my personality) indicates that I'm more of a (b) type.

I'll just wait and see.  At the very least I'm concurrently reading one baby-related book (e.g. Milk Memos - I'm serious) and one non-baby-related book (e.g. Paul Auster's Moon Palace) at all times. 

Here's the gratuitous belly photo that I'm too shy to post on Facebook.  This is 23 weeks, though I did grow overnight just after this photo was taken.  That's how it works, you know.

And here's the adorable little cap my friend Nikki crocheted for Quinn.  I plan on honing my infant portrait skills once Quinn is born and I'm off work for a while, and I can't wait to photograph her in this hat! 

What else have I been up to?  I've been using a CD-ROM instruction program to learn Adobe Photoshop, for one thing.  I am already fairly familiar with Adobe InDesign and I think having a solid grasp of both programs will open up unlimited possibilities.  Photoshop may be the most complex, difficult program I've ever worked with, but I'm making progress.

One project that's constantly on my mind are the invitations to my sister's July 2011 wedding.  Though the wedding is a long time off, and invitations won't need to be mailed for some time, I want to have all my ducks in a row before Quinn arrives.  I've purchased all the paper and embellishment supplies I'll need and I'm waiting for the final shipment to arrive in the mail.  Kate and I have developed a plan for the overall construction, now it's up to me to work on design elements, make edits based on Kate's desires, then print and assemble the 150 invitations.  Here are some of the supplies I'll be using for the fuchsia, white, and white shimmer project.

nonstop

It's not that I've been doing nothing.  The days just seem to slip away and when you look back, it appears as though little has been accomplished.  Jesse and I both work full-time, and our evenings are spent preparing meals and spending time with Chloe.  I'm guilty of sometimes giving up on that plan and instead hiding in my room with a book.  Bad wife.

Right now I'm in the midst of helping Chloe make a "Big Sister to be" t-shirt, which I plan to have her start painting tonight.

Here's a photo of the plain t-shirt and the "rough draft" I asked her to create.  I drew the letters and Chloe colored them in and added embellishments to get an idea of what her final project will look like.

Here's a photo of Chloe at the Beaverton Farmers' Market, which we visited this weekend.

And finally, isn't this picture adorable?  It's Chloe at her grandmother's house in Arizona - she must have been about 3 at the time.  Darling.

It's only a week and two days now until the three of us go to the doctor to find out the baby's gender!  I'm getting so excited... it's hard to believe nearly 17 weeks have passed and Chloe will soon know whether to expect a baby sister or a baby brother!  It'll be wonderful to finally put an identity on this mysterious little avocado in my belly.

cherry compote

A gorgeous weekend has passed and now appears the threat of untimely snow to break our stretch of early spring.

Clara kindly took me out to brunch at Detour Café on Saturday morning. We sat outside and peered through shrubbery at pups passing by on the sidewalk. I had the most delicious French toast of my life. So delicious that I must share the menu description:

Thick slices of our cardamom bread,

dipped in custard and toasted to perfection.

Topped with cherry compote and toasted almonds;

served with organic maple syrup.

I returned home in the very early afternoon and immediately threw open the door to our balcony. The sun was beginning its slow descent – the one that bathes our apartment in golden warmth and infuses the air with optimism and calm. At Clara’s recommendation, I set up an account on last.fm and got the music rolling. I pulled a small table and chair onto the balcony and sat down with a bottle of hard apple cider.

And I sat for about two and a half hours. Letting the sun warm my face, listening to a variety of birds hidden in the trees, thinking happy thoughts. Oliver and Aurora were more than happy to join me, napping in the panels of sunlight beaming down on the wood floor.

I eventually grabbed my camera and got a few photographs, before retiring back to my seat. If only every Saturday could be so glorious (not raining).

our view

saved from death by Aurora

dark-eyed junco

I did progress a bit on one project. I hope to have this all finished by Wednesday or so. Here’s a sneak peek.

Lastly, I want to mention two exciting developments! The first is that I’ll be taking a short vacation very soon. I depart next Tuesday, March 16th. I’ll be spending a few days in southern Arizona with my family – just relaxing and catching up, not to mention indulging in a margarita or two and getting some REAL sun!

Equally awesome is the news that my great friend Stephanie (you know, the gal who crafted our wedding skullpture) is coming to visit in just a month! Her trip will officially mark the beginning of visitor season here in Portland. Don’t hesitate to get in touch if you’d like to schedule your own vacation to this lovely city of roses.

elysium

Big things are in the works. A custom blog graphics redesign (really this time), a new computer for blogging on the go, and a refreshed dedication to getting my thoughts onto the screen. New projects, challenges, and a more focused approach to crafting and living in the wonderful world of Portland.

What prompts this rejuvenation and what makes it success possible? The start of a new year almost always infuses some motivation into the dreary winter psyche, but too often it is short lived. I’m hoping that the other component of this impulse – my noticeably improved and utterly comfortable new living environment – will more than prevent against the inevitable creativity depression that will try to take hold in a few weeks or months.

The narrowed focus of my blog will align closely with what I’ve been exploring over the past year: seeking creativity and contentedness in Portland. My plan now is to conceptualize and executive specific art projects – often experimenting with techniques and/or media that are new to me. I’ll blog about my successes and failures, and include instructions on how to begin the project yourself at home. Here are some ideas I intend on trying:

Knit & felted bowls

Glass etching

Hand-lettered broadside posters

Assignment-specific book arts exhibit submissions

Stenciling

Reversible painted headboard

Handmade rub-ons

Sewing

Gold leaf

Paper making

I will also spend more time exploring the many exciting places Portland has to offer. I’ll be more consistent in terms of toting my camera with me and checking out new places. This week offers up two new experiences: an adults-only night of coffee, food and bouncing fun at the World Forestry Museum and a weekend stroll through the newly-renamed Lan Su Chinese Garden.

So here’s to a New Year full of courage and innovation, pleasure and challenge.

Share what changes you plan to implement during the next month in honor of this rousing holiday!